Unanswered Prayers

I know personally, this is something I have struggled with in my walk with God. It can be so frustrating to be in the midst of your struggle or situation and consecutively pray for something and not hear back right away. It's hard sometimes to pray and pray and not get an immediate answer from God. My Grams (grandmother) was sick for an extremely long time. She was in and out of the hospital, each time she was sicker than the time before. I prayed over her SO much. I prayed for healing. I prayed for a miracle. I prayed God would take the sickness away. I remember the night she died, she had coded in the Emergency Department and I ran out of the hospital bay straight to the chapel and I begged God. I pleaded with God to save her. He didn't. I was so angry at God when I heard them call her time of death. I was livid with God. How could he take away something so precious and dear to my heart when I begged him? Yet, he expected me to do all these things and live a life that was specific to how he wanted, yet when I begged him, it felt like he turned His back on me. I wanted NOTHING to do with God in that moment. I will be brutally honest, the thought of Him brought anger inside of me that I am ashamed of. I'm telling you this because sometimes when we are in the middle of our problems and God doesn't answer us we feel this way. We feel like he is ignoring our prayers. We feel like he is so far away from us. I want you to know I have been there multiple times, not just that one time. Who knew looking back to over a year ago, I would be sitting here today the woman I am. I truly believe in my heart that God took my Grams away from me that night to save my life. Shortly after her death is when I found God and recommitted my life to him. If you read my testimony you know. All my Grams wanted in her life was first to serve God with all her heart, but secondly, she wanted those she loved and cared about to know Jesus, especially her grandchildren. You see, God knew I was not living a life according to Him during all the years she was sick. He knew I was drinking all the pain, negative emotions, and ramped thoughts that were running through my head consistently away. You see after my Grams passed away, not much had changed. I began drinking to numb the pain. I began drinking to make me feel alive and happy again. When you're drunk there is no need to feel your raw emotions because you get to this state of not even knowing what's going on around you or your name half the time. I hate to admit that was myself more times than I'd like to admit. You see sometimes the circumstances we are in God uses to bring about change. Did I want to lose my grandmother? No. Do I think God had a reason and a plan? Yes. I wouldn't be spreading the Gospel or writing this blog to you if he hadn't had a plan for my life at that moment. As I am writing this today, April 30th, 2020 (I write my blogs in advance when God lays something on my heart), a little over a year after my Grams passed, I can tell you I have never felt so close to God in my entire life. I have never been so madly in love with someone as I am God right now. I have never felt a fire and spark in me the way that I do now. I truly feel as though my Grams' love for Jesus is living inside of me. You see God has a plan for your life too. It's okay to pray to God and not hear back immediately. God isn't a vending machine. You can't just go to Him in the midst of your problems and expect immediate answers. If God gave us answers to our prayers immediately, there would be no point in Faith. Faith is defined by Webster's dictionary as a complete trust or understanding in someone or something. If you don't trust God to get you through your hard times, why would you stop living for the world and live for God? If you can't trust that God's plans are the best plans for your life, why would you even open your mind up to what he has in store for you? I am here to tell you that the night he took my Grams from me, I didn't know His plans. I didn't think anything good could come from losing the most important human in my life. But here I am to tell you that if you trust God, follow Him each and every day, and pray that he reveals his will for your life to you, he will do just that when he is ready to. I want to emphasize the "when he is ready to". I want you to know God's timing is perfect. It doesn't always make sense to us or align up with our timing, but He is ALWAYS at work and His timing is for a reason. Trust in that. I want to leave you with this verse in Psalms. Psalm 27:14 states, "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on The Lord." I pray that whatever situation you are in, you have faith in God. You trust in Him completely. He hears your prayers. He knows what's on your mind and heart without you even needing to tell Him. He has a plan for your life that will bring about amazing things. Follow him in all you do. Make him the center of your life. Fall madly in love with Him. It's the best choice I ever decided to make. Love you guys.